Top Five Regrets Of The Dying – Bronnie Ware
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This post is not supposed to bring you down but make you aware. It is a New Year and a chance to start again! This article, can be life changing if you absorb the value.
Surprisingly enough since I have been not well for quite some months now, Number 1 and 3 have been things I have thought of often. I am posting this not only to share the message, but also do not want others to have to be sick or dying to realize these things.
Bronnie Ware, a care worker spent much time with those who were near the end. She questioned many patients about any regrets they have an although there were many, there were some that were repeated again and again.
Here is the Top Five Regrets:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams along the way.
From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard – This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship.
Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings – Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends – Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier
This is a surprisingly common one.
Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice.
They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.
By Bronnie Ware – You Can Buy Bronnie Wares full – length book of “The Top 5 Regrets Of The Dying A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing” here
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Hay House, Abraham Hicks, and More!
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Many of you have probably already heard of Hay House but those who have not I thought I would share this great site with you. Hay House is a publishing company that has many wonderful author including Abraham Hicks.
Hay House Radio – where you can here many wonderful authors speak daily. They also offer Hay House Events – Where you can catch live call from of the greatest authors and personal development people out there.
Hay house has a wide collection of authors and speakers to chose from including Abraham Hicks, Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay, and many more. They are also having their wellness sale going on right now which ends in March.
So If you have not been to Hay House to check out what they have to offer you can do so here.
Anthony Robbins: Shift Your Focus – The Power of Questions
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Be Grateful!!!
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OTHER PEOPLE ALLOW US TO SEE OURSELVES MORE CLEARLY!
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By Nick Ralls
IT is very difficult… some might find impossible… to see ourselves clearly, to know ourselves better and to find our heart center without our fellow human beings.
As we journey back to love… there is no other trip worth the taking…we meet our fellows, our buddies, our challengers and our tormentors.
But, as hard as it might seem, we can be grateful for all those who show up in our life for what they teach us about ourselves, about what love is and what love so often is not.
And as hard as it might seem people do not turn up by accident.
They travel across the globe to be at our side and we journey far and wide to be in consort with them.
Have you ever wondered how things might have been if things had been different… who we might not have met if things had been better or a there had been a different experience or episode?
Tragedy can come before great loving encounters.
The cloud can proverbially have its silver lining.
So these souls who come into our consciousness become our mirrors.
They mirror back to us that which we treasure in ourselves.
And so too they reflect that which we need to heal… that which we feel at odds with.
But without the mirror how much harder would it be for us to transform, to change.
So each time we look into the eyes of another know that we see into our own eyes.
Each time we feel uncomfortable with another, judgmental of another then this is some aspect of ourselves which needs to be accepted, healed or transformed.
So let us not deplore the strong feelings, the harshness and the deep fears that social interaction can bring.
Instead let us accept with gentle love those parts of us which need so much to be healed with the power of love as they also need to be healed in others.
And when we see love in another it reminds us just how much love we have inside of ourselves too.
We will have a bevy of angels… a bounty of love messengers.. and a flotilla of gods and goddesses to remind us just how magnificent we are, of course.
It is a case of seeing with eyes wide open the gift others bring to our lives.
They allow us to see ourselves more clearly.
They enable us to understand who we are.
They teach us what love is.
And they also bring home to us what love clearly isn’t.
But each one of them is vital for our journey home.. our journey back to love whether they appear on our television screen, in the newspapers, in our community or in our house.
Astounding Top 10 Eckhart Tolle Quotes – The Power of Now Quotes
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You Can Get “The Power Of Now” Here
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The Power of Now Review
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I must be on a review kick, but Echkart Tolle’s book “The Power of Now” was such a great personal development read that I could not go without putting out a review.
“The Power of Now a Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment” by Eckhart Tolle really drives home the fact that life can be a misery when you are focused too much on the past and/or the future. Tolle discusses how this type of focus takes away from the only moment that truly “is” and that moment is now.
There are ten main chapters in Tolle’s book and they are as follows:
You Are Not Your Mind
Consciousness: The Way Out Of Pain
Moving Deeply Into The Now
Mind Strategies For Avoiding The Now
The State Of Presence
The Inner Body
Portals Into The Unmanifested
Enlightened Relationships
Beyond Happiness and Unhappiness There Is Peace
The Meaning Of Surrender
Each chapter offers profound insight into coming into the now, how we avoid it, and how to stay there. The basic premise of the book is that now is the only real time there is. All anxiety, worry, etc. comes from thoughts that are past and present.
In the book, it talks about how the human mind spends much of its time in the past or present and most often neglects the future. Tolle offers great knowledge in how to deal with the issue of not being in the now and, if practiced, I believe being in the now may relieve much stress for many.
This book can be read through in one sitting but is definitely one that you will want to refer to again and again. Perhaps even read two to three more times. I would highly recommend “The Power of Now” to anyone looking to improve, expand, or enhance their life.
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Living in the Now
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I have not written here for awhile and felt compelled to write this post because of the reason I have not blogged here lately. I have been very sick and realized even more then I did before how important your time is and where your mind should be.
During my illness, I read Eckhart Tolle’s “The Power of Now” and it could not have come at a better time. While sick I realized how important each second is because you may not see the next. I say that not to sound grim but just the reality of we never know when our time will come.
Living in the now, is not an easy process, at least not for me. In Tolle’s book, he describes living in the now as somewhat easy to achieve but I have been having problems doing so. We are so busy thinking about the future and past that, often, we miss the precious now. I will put this idea in relation to my recent illness.
While being sick (which I still am a bit) I found it hard not to think about if I would get better. It was from fear that I could not live in the now. The fear of not knowing what was going to happen to me or if I would get better.
I was also stuck in past thoughts, such as remembering my hospitalization and knowing I did not want to return there. Fear in itself kept me paralyzed from enjoying the moments I had now.
If you take a good look at what you are thinking about most of the day, it will usually include either past or present thoughts. The now is perfect as Tolle describes and the brief glimpses I get when I realize the now it is so very true.
Some people may have an easier time than others connecting with the now but for me it takes practice and at times monitoring my thoughts. I fully recommend reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and welcome any advice from the reader’s how well they have been able to stay present in the now.
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WHEN WE UNDERSTAND PEOPLE, WE CAN LOVE THEM MORE
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By Nick Ralls
I seek to get to know people in my life so much better… when I understand and really know people I can love them more and judge them far less. And when I get to know others I can learn so much about myself because everyone in my life reflects an aspect of me. Some aspects need loving, some need healing and some just need to be.
HOW well do we know the people in our life?
As with everything, knowledge is power.
And when we know people well we feel empowered… we feel better connected.
So much of our disillusionment and disappointment comes about when we superficially make judgments about people… put them on pedestals which they bound to fall off…decide they are this or that.
But if we wish deeper connection with someone and really want to love them for who they are and not so much about what they initially reflect in us then we need to go deeper.
We need to find out about them.
We need to feel what it is like to be in their shoes.
And we need to include them in our lives.
The world is full of people who do not want to know others.
This gives their ego an inflated sense of power.
This gives their ego protection.
But it is all about superiority and fear that knowing someone might bring about a love of them.
It can be quite convenient for our leaders to define people by their labels.
It can be quite safe to put people in their own little box.
So we can shake hands with this person, hug this person but not this one or that.
But the more we get to know people the more we can see that they are really just like us.
We can see why they took this particular path and why they did not live up to our expectations… or did not appear to shine their light in the way we would have liked them to have done.
When we really get to know people we can love them for who they are… we can support them in what they are trying to do and hold their hand when they most need it to be held.
With great understanding comes great love.
Without understanding there can be little unconditional love… it is just a matter of liking or disliking.
And yet those we would appear to dislike are often those in most need of our love and understanding.
Those we are less likely to invite to the party, to include in our lives, are often the hearts that are most likely to pour out the love we so much seek.
It is in caring for people that our jewel is polished.
It is in knowing and understanding people that our diamond sparkles more.
And it is when we love people no matter what that we can become a gem in the world.
No one is not deserving of love.
No one should be deprived of love.
No one should be shunned, avoided, segregated or given up on.
Everyone has the potential to change from sitting in the grubby murky coal pit into the diamond mine where all sparkles and all glistens in beauty.
And, yes, everyone gets there in the end.
Everyone… yes, everyone… returns to love at the end of play… at the end of the day.
So let us get to know others… and in getting to know them we learn so much about ourselves.
I am so honoured that you are allowing me to get to know you better… because when I get to know you better I so much learn about myself.
Each person reflects some aspect of ourselves… some aspects we need to know and love better, some that we need to heal and some we need to simply allow.
When we get to know people better our love deepens.
And so do we.
So dear and beautiful friend… do open your heart and share what is going on for you on this subject or any subject
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OUR LIVES ARE ALL ABOUT LOVE
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By Nick Ralls
I see love everywhere… I know that there is nowhere where love is not…and I know that I need to keep my heart open even when it can be tempting to close it. Each time the door to my heart has been closed, love has been knocking strongly so that it opens again.
LOVE is everywhere.
And so love does not pass us by.
Therefore, love is not missing from this life and not that life.
And love always enters our life… and love also always comes back to us when we feel it has left or is missing.
In other words, it is absolute truth and not rocket science to understand that love is always present in our life.
It is just that sometimes we are so fixated with feelings of isolation, disconnection, hurt, sorrow and fear that we do not grasp the love that is in our reach.
It is a sort of blindness.
We just do not see what so often is right under our nose.
Love is the glue that holds together the universe… it is the meaning of life and the reason why planet earth came into existence in the first place.
All other reasons, scientific, rational or irrational, are illusions created by the ego mind which drags us all screaming and kicking into a veritable hell of disunity and loneliness.
So is there anywhere where love is not?
Of course not.
It is only deluded and fearful thinking that ever tries to deny that love is not pivotal to our experience and our way of living.
Whenever our mind, through hurt, resentment, anger or a feeling of being rejected or misunderstood, breaks from the connection with all that is, was and ever will be, love is still not far away.
It will become our saviour.
It will become our healer
It will become our reason to carry on down our own yellow brick road which will return us to that place from where we came… and which we might know clearly, perhaps for the first time.
When we close our hearts, we might feel that we are shutting love out for fear of being hurt again or hurt again and again but love is struggling and pushing to re enter our lives.
You never keep love down.
You can never really push love away.
It is like a boomerang.. each time you throw it it will be wanting and willing to return to your hands.
And it does.
So whenever we feel that we are not loved, unpopular, will never find a soul mate, will always be alone, will always be at the end of meaningless or unfulfilled relationships we need to work out what are the patterns of our past that are causing us this mental obstruction.
Of course, we are not excluded from love.
Of course, love will not escape us when it does not escape others.
And of course we all deserve love and if we think we are not good enough for love then this is again a product of our bad conditioning and the sort of beliefs we still carry around us.
Each of us has our own love story.
Sometimes, we are just not in it.
We need to start seeing love everywhere… we can see it in ourselves… we can see it in others through their acts of kindness and compassion… we can see it in nature.. we can see it in beauty all around us… we can see it in smiles.. we can see it in our conversations… in our connections.. and in those around us who are just crying out for us to make contact or make communication in their lives.
Sometimes we are just so transfixed on the door that has closed… the heart that has been shut off or hearts even… that we do not see those who are reaching out to us, those who want us so much and those who are opening their doors and inviting us in.
We cannot open another’s heart… either to the world or to ourselves.
But we can open our own heart and let in loving people, loving experiences and take loving choices.
What happens when we knock on the door of love?
Yes, love answers us! It always does.
So dear and beautiful friend… do open your heart and share what is going on for you on this subject or any subject
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