I seek to get to know people in my life so much better… when I understand and really know people I can love them more and judge them far less. And when I get to know others I can learn so much about myself because everyone in my life reflects an aspect of me. Some aspects need loving, some need healing and some just need to be.

HOW well do we know the people in our life?

As with everything, knowledge is power.

And when we know people well we feel empowered… we feel better connected.

So much of our disillusionment and disappointment comes about when we superficially make judgments about people… put them on pedestals which they bound to fall off…decide they are this or that.

But if we wish deeper connection with someone and really want to love them for who they are and not so much about what they initially reflect in us then we need to go deeper.

We need to find out about them.

We need to feel what it is like to be in their shoes.

And we need to include them in our lives.

The world is full of people who do not want to know others.

This gives their ego an inflated sense of power.

This gives their ego protection.

But it is all about superiority and fear that knowing someone might bring about a love of them.

It can be quite convenient for our leaders to define people by their labels.

It can be quite safe to put people in their own little box.

So we can shake hands with this person, hug this person but not this one or that.

But the more we get to know people the more we can see that they are really just like us.

We can see why they took this particular path and why they did not live up to our expectations… or did not appear to shine their light in the way we would have liked them to have done.

When we really get to know people we can love them for who they are… we can support them in what they are trying to do and hold their hand when they most need it to be held.

With great understanding comes great love.

Without understanding there can be little unconditional love… it is just a matter of liking or disliking.

And yet those we would appear to dislike are often those in most need of our love and understanding.

Those we are less likely to invite to the party, to include in our lives, are often the hearts that are most likely to pour out the love we so much seek.

It is in caring for people that our jewel is polished.

It is in knowing and understanding people that our diamond sparkles more.

And it is when we love people no matter what that we can become a gem in the world.

No one is not deserving of love.

No one should be deprived of love.

No one should be shunned, avoided, segregated or given up on.

Everyone has the potential to change from sitting in the grubby murky coal pit into the diamond mine where all sparkles and all glistens in beauty.

And, yes, everyone gets there in the end.

Everyone… yes, everyone… returns to love at the end of play… at the end of the day.

So let us get to know others… and in getting to know them we learn so much about ourselves.

I am so honoured that you are allowing me to get to know you better… because when I get to know you better I so much learn about myself.

Each person reflects some aspect of ourselves… some aspects we need to know and love better, some that we need to heal and some we need to simply allow.

When we get to know people better our love deepens.

And so do we.

So dear and beautiful friend… do open your heart and share what is going on for you on this subject or any subject

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• Nick Ralls
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NEVER be selective about who you give your love to.

Love everybody.

Yes… everybody!

Who said it was easy? Sometimes it isn’t. But the most important thing is that we extend love to all.. particularly those who we might find it most hard to love but are in so much need of it for sure.

So many of us pick and choose those people we want to give our attention to, who we want in our circle of friends and close acquaintances, our significant other, our family.

But to restrict love is also to restrict love to all aspects of ourselves.

Because all people in the world… all people who cross our path and come into our life are reflecting some part of us.

And they might well be reflecting some part of us that needs to be healed.

So give love to the person who stands aloof or is different or puts up those forbidding barriers.

Give love to the person who is judgmental or condescending.

Give love to the person who does not agree with you or even goes so far as to challenge you for who you are.

And give love to the person who is clearly at odds with you.

Because in loving the person who does not connect well, you are giving love and healing to the part of you that finds it hard to connect with certain people… perhaps authoritarian figures.

And in loving the person who casts judgment you are give warm healing to that part of you which sets you apart, considers yourself better or lesser than others.

And giving love to the person who is conflict with you brings understanding that part of you which is in conflict with yourself.

So someone in your life has gone off the rails… has behaved in a way that you do not approve of. We all know those who have upset the applecart.

But wake up… there is part of you that is off the rails.

Part of you might be glued to some addiction, to some destructive mode of conduct, to something that does not serve you or the world.

And when you love another for who they are despite what they might do as they struggle through life, as we all surely do at times, you are also healing and love that part of you which is also struggling.

Let’s face it… as human beings we all have the same emotions, feelings, fears and foibles.

Yes, all of us.

And we are connected into this great energy gestalt of which we are part of and so every aspect of every aspect of every person in the world is also an aspect of us.

OK some aspects might be subdued… some might be healed and therefore we are not as dangerous as other people… but all aspects do rear their heads in our thoughts if not our actions and loving action changes that thought into a better one that serves us.

We all suffer destructive thoughts… even if we do not follow them up with actions.

And we all need this healing so that when one of those ill serving thoughts flicks into our mind we can switch it quickly into a loving one which will not cause us to burn with rage, beat ourselves up or have any potency in our consciousness.

That is how you and I change this great energy gestalt one person at a time towards love, harmony and peace and make the world a safer place for us all.

But we need to love people…. love them anyway however obnoxious or foul they might seem to us at certain times if not for most of the time.

And we just need to know and accept that those in a fearful space will behave in a fearful and disrespecting way.

There is no rocket science about that.

However, those who take our hand of love can be healed as much as ourselves when we stretch out that hand to them.

Be the bridge of love in people’s lives.

And see how your life changes in the process.

That’s the pay back.

It is the universe’s way of showing you that all the good you do in the world to others is also done to you.

Those who might appear the hardest and the trickiest to love are the ones in most need of it.

Just as we find it so hard at times to love aspects of ourselves and yet those aspects are most in need of healing love.

Love all people… and see your life and the lives of others change.

So dear and beautiful friend… do open your heart and share what is going on for you on this subject or any subject

I look deeply and lovingly into the eyes of all others… the eyes are the window to the soul, the landing strip to the heart where the soul dwells… and I know when I look into the eyes of another I gaze into the beauty of their soul and I see, as well as feel, our oneness.

OUR eyes are the windows to our soul… the landing strip to our beautiful heart.

And yet so often when we observe others, pass others by we do not connect at eye level.

So miss one of the most beautiful forms of human connection… and we miss out on gazing into the soul of another.

Every time we can make eye contact with another it is an experience to be cherished, an insight into a fabulous creation… just like us.

It is always regrettable when we look away… it is always a missed opportunity when we avert our gaze and fear what others might think of our intention if we should dare to look into the eyes of another.

Yet when we look into the eyes of another we are glimpsing their soul.

We are honouring and are honoured all at the same time.

Let us resolve to make eye contact with everyone.

Even those we might be afraid of… or those we do not usually make eye contact with.

Let us take the time to look at the beauty of someone through their eyes… notice the colour and the texture of that person’s windows to their soul.

And know that an eye to eye communication is one of the most intimate and self giving experiences we can indulge in.

When we look into the eyes of the other we are on a fast trip to connecting with that person’s soul.

We can see their vulnerability…. and their authenticity all at the same time.

But most of all we can see that they are just like us…. how we are so connected even if we are often told that we are not.

They have the same doubts, fears, insecurities, joys and sorrows.. and when we can stand looking at one another in this deep and loving way we are accepting that person for the magnificent human being they are… without any attention on differences.

Our eyes hold the same…each of us have windows that take us into the same one soul.

Making eye contact is not only the surefire route to soul to soul connection but also shows the other person we are interested in them for who they are.

We are not focusing on their body appearance, on their sexual attractiveness or what might set them apart from others

But we are focusing on that which mirrors our sameness as well as uniqueness in a subtle way…. we all have eyes which reflect the whole range of emotions that we all do share… and lead us into that treasure house of love which is not found in the elements or the world outside but inside the human heart.

And when we focus on eye connection with others our mouths can break into a smile… smiling is the universal language of positive and loving connection.

It is the way we make both ourselves and others feel better and feel lighter as they go about their day.

So dear and beautiful friend… do open your heart and share what is going on for you on this subject or any subject

I do not put off feeling good about myself…. I reject the notion that I can only feel good about myself once I have the right relationship, the good job, the dream house or the sports car. I recognise that I can feel good about myself right now because I can feel the richness of my own heart.

SO many of us put off feeling good about ourselves until later.

We believe that we can only feel good when we have the right relationship, the career, the money, the nice house, the sports car… and not before.

How can we feel good when we are not in a romantic relationship?

And don’t talk to me about feeling good when I do not have enough money in the bank to pay for my food next week, let alone a vacation

How can I feel good when my car is clapped out and my house is not as good as those of my work colleagues?

Just how could I possibly feel good because I cannot get a decent job?

But we need so much to feel good about ourselves right now.

It does not matter what we have, it is enough to know that we have the beauty and truth and goodness of ourselves… and that is something to really feel good about.

And when we have this energy of feeling good about ourselves.. loving ourselves unconditionally.. we attract into our lives all those things that we do not now believe we lack.

OK we might not have the great relationship or job or living environment… but this does not mean all of this is not on its way.

It does not mean we don’t deserve this or will never get this.. some time soon.

The more we focus our attention on not having this or that the more we will bring about the experiences of not having, of lacking or being deprived of.

But when we turn our focus and attention to just how good we are, just how abundant we are, and how while we might not have the money in the bank the real treasure is the love that is in our heart then we draw into our lives all the physical expressions of what is contained in our heart.

And we bring into our lives the money we need as well as the relationship we need to fulfill our life purpose.

We live in an abundant universe.

And we bring into our lives that which we are… in other words, that which we feel about ourselves and that which we believe is true of ourselves.

If we want more money we have to see ourselves as rich in all aspects of life, which is true.

If we want the dream relationship, then we have to believe we are worthy and so desirable that people will be queuing at our door.

And as we thinketh, so it becomes true for us.

This is not a cliche.

It is the truth of the universe.

Like attracts like.

So rich people attract rich things.

Loving people attract loving people.

People who feel good about themselves bring into their lives things that are good.

And, unfortunately, the opposite is true also.

We need to feel good about ourselves because there is so much good in us.

We do not need something outside of us to suddenly feel good.

If we believe that getting married would complete us, then it might be once we are married we will then need something else to complete us.. and we will never be satisfied and always feeling that we lack things.

But the moment we decide to feel good about ourselves because we are here, our life changes.

Why not feel good about the miracle that you are?

Why not feel good about the fact that you were created to be on this planet in this time to love and be loved… which is the truth, of course?

Instead of focusing on what we have not got, what we have not achieved, what we might never have, let us now turn out thinking to just what we have got, what we have achieved and what we will most certainly have… that is, if we abandon this negative thinking!

We can make quite a list.

The positive list in all of our lives will outweigh the negative even if we seem mortified or unduly focused on the gloomy side of life.

OK things could be better… but then they could be a lot worse.

And it is a great idea not to put off feeling good about yourself… give yourself a hug right now and proclaim: I am the BEST ME!

You won’t be wrong!