One big mistake people make, including me, is setting goals that will make them happy. What I mean by that is setting goals to achieve happiness instead of being happy with what is actually going on now. I have had much difficulty with this and during these times I have noticed myself making “I’ll be happy when” goals.
Some examples of “I’ll be happy when goals” include:
I’ll be happy when I lose weight
I’ll be happy when I find a mate
I’ll be happy when I make X number of dollars
While having goals are good for people and can help many get from point A to point B, it can be very detrimental if your happiness relies on it. By making “I’ll be happy when” goals you are ignoring the present and the happiness you could have now.
What if you never achieve your “I’ll be happy when” goals, then you would never be happy. One must admit that all goals that are set are not always met. Therefore, you leave yourself open to nothing but unhappiness in the present.
What is the alternative? Setting goals but being happy with what you have already achieved.
One of the best ways to practice this is to evaluate your days each night before going to sleep. What are you happy with? Keep those thoughts in mind as you drift off into sleep. You may even find by doing this you sleep better and wake up in a much better mood.
